


Wax and Wane

by Silver_Writes



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, M/M, Marauders, Marauders era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-20
Updated: 2014-07-20
Packaged: 2018-02-09 16:47:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1990290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silver_Writes/pseuds/Silver_Writes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, Remus looks at him in a way he doesn’t understand.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wax and Wane

Sometimes, Remus looks at him in a way he doesn’t understand. 

There’s a week until the full moon and they’re in herbology, up to their elbows in dirt. Sirius is fighting with a particularly stubborn Venomous Tentacula that doesn’t want to stay in its pot, and it’s a little distracting, really, the way he can feel Remus looking at him. Sirius always knows when his friends are trying to get his attention, but this is different; he’s used to James’ mischievous urgings and Peter’s desperate pleadings, but right now Remus is just looking at him. They’ve been split up into pairs, and Remus is two tables over, but when Sirius finally looks up their gazes meet.

For a moment they just look at each other, Remus’ expression even and inscrutable. And then he grins, and motions towards Sirius’ face. Sirius pulls off his expensive dragon-hide gloves, the ones Andromeda bought for him because his parents refused to replace the old ones he outgrew, and touches his cheek. His fingers come away with a streak of dirt. Sirius grins back and tosses his hair, pretending, mostly, to preen. Remus winks, and there’s a hint of promise in there, he thinks.

\---

After classes are done for the day, it seems the entirety of Hogwarts is outside on the grounds, soaking up the unusually warm afternoon. There’s a makeshift game of quidditch beside the lake, spearheaded by one Mssr Potter, showing off spectacularly to Evans who pretends not to watch. There are whoops and cheers and laughter. James makes a dazzling catch.

Sirius is feeling lazy and content, for once not in the mood to go flying this way and that. He and Remus have staked a spot over by the trees, knowing James and a panting Peter will come over eventually. His head is on Remus’ stomach as the other boy reads. Sirius points out all the flaws in the other players’ flying, pleased whenever Remus laughs (or tries not to). _You’re an arse,_ Remus tells him, but he can feel the smile.

Evans has finally had enough of James’ antics, and she walks by with Marlene McKinnon, waving. Sirius knows the wave is only for Remus and ignores it. Marly looks directly at him, however, a sly smile on her face. She’s quite good looking, with long blond hair and perfect tits, and Sirius grins at the invitation. Remus is silent, still reading his book, but he can feel the slightest tensing in his stomach as Sirius watches Marly’s backside heading towards the castle. He hears Remus turn the page, and then feels the whisper of his finger on his ear when he drops his hand. Sirius swallows, feeling a bit warm.

\---

That night at dinner, Marly leaves the top two buttons on her shirt open, and all Sirius can focus on is breasts. Smooth, pale, and perfect. James elbows him and they share a grin. _You don’t even have to try,_ Peter sighs wistfully. Remus rolls his eyes and jabs Sirius with his fork and makes a decidedly dirty joke about tits, and the four of them burst into peals of laughter, earning filthy looks from the Slytherins. Marly makes a point of reaching over the table and Sirius resists the urge to charm open another button. 

When they leave the Great Hall she’s conspicuously beside him, and he throws an arm across her shoulders. She’s much shorter than he is, and from his vantage point he can see the lace cups of her bra and the maddeningly full curves of her breasts. She grins up at him and he tells her he knows all of the constellations, and he makes a ridiculous _Canis Major_ joke, and she lets him run his fingertips across the top of those fucking breasts, right there in the Hall. He can feel Remus watching him, but when he meets that gaze this time it’s darker and different, and it’s still a week until the moon but it doesn’t look like it.

When they get into the hallway, Sirius drags Marlene off, because Sirius is always in control, and there are catcalls and whistles, and it’s a good thing there’s not another Prefect or Professor around, because the whole House knows they’re going to fuck. 

\---

The next morning he regales the others with his evening debauchery. They’d barely made it to the Astronomy Tower before he’d pushed Marlene against the wall and fucked her from behind, tearing off her panties, which she’d let him keep. James slugs him proudly in the shoulder and Peter hangs breathlessly to every word. Remus snorts at him and calls him a slut, and Sirius happily agrees. The response is a normal one, but there’s that same strange look in Remus’ eyes, and Sirius decides to push it. He tells them how fucking tight she was (which honestly surprised him) and how she squealed. _Really, Sirius, don’t be a fucking arse,_ Remus says, frowning. Usually he’d chalk it up to Remus having a bit more propriety than the rest of them, but this time he’s not entirely sure.

Since he’s Sirius, and he can’t let sleeping werewolves lie, he keeps on and finally jumps on Remus’ bed, puppy-like despite the decidedly adult conversation, and he ruffles Remus’ hair and promises him someday he’ll get a proper shag. James and Peter have collapsed into a laughing heap by now, and Remus is laughing and mock fighting with him, but at one point he grabs Sirius’ wrist so hard Sirius sees stars, but he’s still laughing and Sirius doesn’t want to admit it hurts.

\---

Every day leading up to the moon, Remus gets more aggressive, less patient, stronger. The wolf is beneath his skin, and it absolutely fascinates Sirius. It kills him, of course, seeing his friend in pain, but since they became animagi he knows it helps. There’s just something about watching mild-mannered Remus become more animalistic that fucking awes him. 

Since the wrist-grabbing incident, Sirius has made it his purpose to annoy Remus as much as humanly (or otherwise) possible. Just to see. He can’t resist lighting proverbial fires, no matter how many times he gets burnt, and Remus is such a fun one to drive mad. He holds out for so damn long, but everyone has their breaking point.  


The day before the full moon, Sirius knows he’s _really_ playing with fire, but this is the most fun. He knows Remus could throw him through the wall today, if he wanted, could probably kill him with his bare hands. Not that he would, but Sirius gets a perverse thrill just from thinking about it. 

He shoved Remus out of the way in the loo this morning, knocked a book out of his hand in Charms, and purposely starts a wrestling brawl in the Gryffindor common room. It was a regular occurrence, given their group, and generally Remus wouldn’t fight back too much until he’d finally hit him over the head with a book or whatnot, but this time it looks like it takes every single ounce of Remus’ self-reserve not to tear his head off. 

Evans finally tells them to knock it off, and Marlene makes a bold comment about other ways to work off sexual tension, and between it all, Sirius is hard as a fucking rock. He pushes himself off Remus (who tries to trip him), and takes Marlene upstairs and fucks her hard in Remus’ bed.

Afterwards, they get dressed and Marlene leaves, and Sirius stays stretched across the bed just to be a prat. He hears footsteps coming up the stairs, and he hopes it’s the three of them so he can push Remus’ buttons in front of a crowd, but it’s just Remus. He’s not sure if he’s thrilled or nervous. _Where are Prongs and Wormtail?_ he asks. 

Remus takes in the scene, his own disheveled bed with a disheveled Sirius on it. He doesn’t reply, and Sirius is figuring the kitchens again, but in an instant Remus is beside him, hauling him up by his shirt, and he shoves Sirius so hard he goes sprawling, arse over bloody tea kettle, his tailbone connecting painfully with the floor. He deserves it and he knows it, he fucked in Remus’ bed, for fuck’s sake, and he holds up his hands in surrender but Remus pushes him to the floor and grabs his face and kisses him, _hard,_ prying his mouth open, and Remus’ tongue is in his mouth, and Remus’ lips are fever-hot against his own, and Sirius is completely at his mercy.

He hears himself whimper when Remus pulls away and shoves at him again. _Stay the fuck out of my bed,_ he threatens. Sirius doesn’t know if this was punishment or something else, but Remus has already disappeared behind his bed curtains, into the sheets where Sirius had his cock in Marlene not more than ten minutes ago, and Sirius finds he’s shaking. 

\---

They don’t talk about the kiss over the next few weeks, pretending that it never happened. Sirius can’t stop thinking about it at night, though, and he wonders if Remus was just trying to assert himself the way Sirius had been trying to. Blokes don’t go around kissing other blokes, after all, especially not like that.

Remus is relaxed and sarcastic and genuinely kind as always for most of the month, and Sirius doesn’t fuck Marlene again. Twice is once more than he usually does, anyway, and there are quidditch practises and detentions and adventures into Hogsmeade to pass the time. 

He’s all over James and Remus that month, a tornado of physical affection. He generally doesn’t touch Peter the same way (much to Peter’s relief), but he’s Padfoot incarnate with the other two, hugging and wrestling and hair ruffling and being obnoxious. James is always down for a good wrestle, and they break a shelf of bottles in Potions, and Sirius spends three days in detention for being an arse and trying to somehow blame it on Snape. 

He can feel Remus alternatively trying and trying not to watch him, and it’s driving him mad. It’s like none of it happened, not even the whole fucking Marlene in his bed thing, and as the week before the moon begins, his lighthearted affections and pranks become more and more annoying. He and Remus squabble over Muggle Studies homework, and he ‘accidentally’ dumps Remus’ inkwell on him. He bowls into Remus in the hallway outside of Transfiguration, and gets reamed out by McGonagall for not paying attention and being too reckless, but Sirius thinks, probably, that he knows exactly what he’s doing. Remus threatens to punch him in Charms two days before the moon, and then charms his mouth shut, and they get detention along with James, who can’t stop laughing. 

Sirius wakes up the morning of the full moon positively thrumming with anticipation. He knows it can’t be anything like what Remus feels, but he swears he can feel Padfoot fighting to get out of him, wanting to tap into that animalistic side of himself and experience just a taste of what Remus does. 

It’s been a month since Marlene, and Sirius hasn’t so much as snogged anyone else, but he babbles on about it to Remus all that morning, his stories getting more outrageous and explicit. Remus watches him with such animosity at lunch that afternoon that Sirius nearly gets hard from it. James notices the tension and asks Remus if he’s feeling alright, but it’s full moon and they all know what that means. Remus kicks him viciously under the table, and Sirius spends the afternoon touching the throbbing bruise. 

An hour before Remus needs to leave to meet Madam Pomfrey, Sirius is determined to really get to him. Remus has alternated between looking agonised and infuriated throughout the early evening, and it makes Sirius almost dizzy with anticipation. There’s something seriously fucked about this whole thing, but he never questions his own actions, not when it would mean he’d need to really think about his motives.

James is downstairs in the common room getting some last-minute Evans stalking in, and Peter’s off in the kitchen having a snack before the evening’s adventures, and Sirius nearly dances into the dormitory where Remus is trying to calm himself before the change. 

_What should I wear?_ Sirius asks, and it’s a stupidly pointless question because he always wears denims and a t-shirt when they go out during the moon, but it means he gets to take his shirt off in front of Remus. There’s thick tension in the air, and Remus looks positively murderous. 

_I don’t care, Sirius,_ he grits out. His eyes are dark and he looks like he’s about to transform right then and there. Sirius pulls on a black t-shirt, stretching languorously as he does so, and when he looks at Remus he bites his bottom lip and pouts. 

_I don’t know why you don’t care_ , he pushes, ruffling his hair and looking at Remus just so. 

_Sirius._ There’s so much warning in that one statement that Sirius can’t take it. 

_I just want to look good,_ he insists, which is ridiculous because he always looks good. He runs his hands over his stomach, feeling his muscles beneath the thin shirt. He’s proud of his physique, and even prouder of the reactions it gets. He steps closer to Remus’ bed, feeling the other boy coil in on himself, and it looks like Remus’ muscles are vibrating. The moon is so close. _What do you think? Do I look good?_ It’s like someone’s taken over Sirius, because no fucking sane person would do this, would push a werewolf on the cusp of transforming with this complete madness, and maybe that’s why he’s always getting himself into trouble, he thinks briefly, and then there’s that same wrist grab and Remus is _hurting_ him.

Remus moves with astonishing grace and speed, and Sirius finds himself beneath him, staring up at him breathlessly. The bed is barely big enough for both of them, he thinks wildly, but Remus growls and all coherent thought leaves his head. _Take this fucking shirt off,_ Remus snaps, but he’s the one pulling it off Sirius, tearing it at the collar, and for the second time Sirius isn’t in control. 

Remus takes his own shirt off, and Sirius has seen him shirtless a thousand times, hell, seen him naked a hundred, but this is different. He realizes he was wrong to think of him as a boy, because, more than any of them, Remus is a fucking man. His normally pale skin is flushed, scars crisscrossing the smooth expanse, and his arms are so shockingly muscled, flexed and tight, his hands on Sirius’ sides, over his stomach, up to his shoulders. Their chests are suddenly touching, skin on skin, and Sirius hisses, throwing his head back, but Remus’ hand is there to catch him. Remus kisses him for the second time, and it’s hungrier than the first, if that’s even possible, hot and wet and angry, and Sirius’ mouth opens wider to let him in. Their teeth clash and Remus’ skin is burning against his own. Sirius doesn’t know what to do with his hands, where to touch, and Remus is so controlling and strong.

Sirius groans into Remus’ mouth and then Remus pushes their hips together, and Sirius shouts, breaking the kiss as his hands finally scrabble across Remus’ skin, shaking over scars and smooth expanses and that’s Remus’ _prick_ , and it’s so fucking hard and his is so fucking hard and he doesn’t know what to do but it feels like he might die because of it all.

Remus’ mouth is on his throat now, lips and teeth and tongue, and he bites him, hard, where his neck meets his shoulder and Sirius is mortified when he shouts again. Remus says something against his skin, and it sounds like it might be _you’ll be the death of me,_ and Sirius agrees, breathlessly, blindly. Then there’s a knock at the door and Remus _growls_ , and for a moment Sirius sees the wolf above him. It’s a Prefect, telling him Pomfrey’s asking for him, and Remus is up and off him in an instant, pulling his shirt on and stalking out the door. 

Sirius’ entire body is shaking, and his knees almost buckle when he pushes himself off Remus’ bed. He only has twenty minutes before they need to sneak out to the willow, but he finds himself limping into the shower, prick so hard it’s weeping. He barely has to stroke before he’s coming, shuddering.

\---

Moony was rough with Padfoot during the moon, knocking him over and biting at him and snarling. Sirius is covered in bruises and cuts the next day, but he doesn’t heal a single one. 

_This is all your fault, you know,_ James points out evenly. They’re late for breakfast, and James is frowning at him from across the table. It’s Saturday and it’s quiet and Sirius just shrugs. _Just don’t let him kill you, yeah? I’d be one obnoxious git short._ Sirius snorts, but all he can hear is _you’re going to be the death of me._ Maybe they’ll end up killing each other, one way or another.

Time seems to pass in alternating bursts, first rushing by and then dragging on so slowly that he thinks it may have stopped altogether. The moon seems to loom larger this month, and for the first two weeks Sirius and Remus give each other space. James asks him about it, and Peter frets a lot, but Remus claims nothing is wrong and he merely agrees. They fall into a smoother, more normal routine the third week, but by the fourth Sirius is a mess again. It’s been two months since he had a shag, and he’s hard all the time, resorting to wanking behind his bed curtains and feeling frustrated and angry. 

He’s not even _trying_ to be annoying that week, it just happens. Remus is cranky and much sharper than usual, and James talks to them both, scolding to Sirius and concerned with Remus. Peter gives them a wide berth. Sirius thinks he’s going mad. He puts his shoes right outside Remus’ bed, sending him sprawling first thing in the morning. Remus jabs his wand into a still-healing bruise at breakfast, and Sirius chokes on his orange juice. Sirius transfigures Remus’ teacup into a snake during class, and Remus throws it at his head. They’re given separate detentions.

The morning of, James is certain they’re going to murder each other. Evans has actually let him spend some time with her, given the way _everyone_ knows Sirius and Remus are fighting, and he and Peter are scarce. Sirius calls Remus a prude in front of a group of Ravenclaw girls, and Remus loudly declares Sirius is just jealous about the size of his cock. The girls are _horrified_ , hearing Remus Lupin say such a thing, but many of them are staring at him with new interest. Sirius is incensed. At dinner, Remus calls him a Black with such ugliness that Sirius feels himself go still. _Werewolf_ , he whispers in Remus’ ear, and then Remus punches him, right in the middle of the Great Hall, and they knock the bench over and food goes everywhere, and the First Years are shrieking and the Slytherins are cheering, and Remus punches him again, right in the jaw, and Sirius elbows him in the nose and Dumbledore uses magic to separate them. They get a week of detentions, but the professors are all looking at Remus with pity as he stalks out.

There are two hours until the moon, and Remus isn’t in the dorm. Sirius is alone and frantic and pacing, and he goes looking for him. He’s not in the common room, not in the Great Hall, not in the Charms classroom, not in the Potions dungeon. Sirius finds himself near Ravenclaw Tower, when movement out of the corner of his eye catches attention. It’s Remus, and he can’t tell if he’s excited or terrified. 

Remus drags him into a classroom, and he dimly realises it’s where they have Dueling Club, but then Remus is tearing at his shirt and Sirius rips Remus’ tie off him and several of his shirt buttons. There’s a pile of mats they practise on, and Remus bodily shoves him onto it. The pile gives, and Sirius goes flying, but Remus is on him the next moment, kissing him furiously and there’s so much hunger in the kiss that Sirius finds himself moaning. 

Remus is all wolf, single-minded and rough, and now both their shirts are off, and Remus’ fingers are beneath the waistband of his trousers. Sirius can’t help but thrash beneath him, grabbing at Remus’ skin, over his flexed arms, pulling at his hair. Remus gets his trousers down to his knees and pulls him out of his undershorts, and then _Remus Lupin is swallowing his prick_. Sirius’ back arches so hard it hurts, and he grabs at Remus’ hair, twisting the soft strands in his fingers. Remus has done this before, he realises, and for the third time he knows just how completely not in control he is, and he wonders if he ever has been.

Remus’ mouth is blazing hot, and he’s _so fucking good at this._ His mouth covers the head of Sirius’ prick, tongue pushing at the sensitive underside, and then he sinks down, _swallowing,_ and Sirius is babbling incoherently, _yeses_ and _mores_ and _oh gods_ and _fuck fuck fuck_. Remus moves his head up and down, and Sirius is trapped in his trousers, constricting his legs, and he can’t watch because he’ll explode, but then he’s coming anyway, shouting loudly, his hips snapping up, and Remus fucking swallows it all.

He’s certain he’s boneless, and Remus flips him like a ragdoll, yanking his trousers all the way off. His fucking shoes are still on, but he doesn’t care because Remus is on top of him again, and panic lights up in his brain. He can feel Remus’ prick, hard and weeping against his arse, and he’s not sure he can do this. He squirms and tries to breathe. Remus drops a kiss at the soft spot where his neck meets his shoulder, where he’d bitten last month, and Sirius chokes on a sob. 

_We don’t have to,_ Remus whispers, and Sirius finds himself torn. Remus runs his fingers along his sides, and he knows he’s fighting to control himself and not take Sirius now, and he’s scared but he’s so aroused still, and Remus is coaxing him up, wrapping his fingers around his cock, stroking slowly. He can feel the tremors of holding back. He’s already hard again. 

_I-_ Sirius begins, stumbling over the words. Remus is stroking him more vigorously now, and he’s pushing forward into that hot, tight grip, then backwards, and he’s started to feel Remus’ cock again, pushing at him from the other side. _It’s going to hurt, isn’t it,_ he manages, and Remus murmurs his agreement, and Sirius finds himself nodding. 

Remus chokes out a spell, and Sirius can feel slick warmth inside him, and he’s ashamed and embarrassed and so aroused he thinks he’s going to pass out. He’s hard as fuck, thanking his lucky stars for being sixteen. Remus pushes the head of his cock into him, and it feels fucking enormous, and there’s no way this is going to work, how does _anyone_ do this, and then he’s inside, and it burns and it hurts and it’s so uncomfortable, and Sirius is sure he’s going to do something disgusting, but _Remus Lupin has his fucking cock in his fucking arse, he’s having sex with Remus fucking Lupin._

Remus is growling and shaking behind him, beginning to move, and Sirius feels the alien slide, the pull, the push. His elbows give out and he falls forward, arse in the air, and Remus moans so loudly that Sirius feels his cock leak. It’s not very enjoyable, it fucking hurts, but Remus seems to be enjoying fuck-all of it, and his mouth is leaving bites all over Sirius’ shoulders and neck, and that feels bloody good at least. Remus senses his discomfort and angles his hips, and Sirius shouts louder than he ever thought possible when Remus hits something deep inside of him, stars exploding behind his eyes. The air is sucked out of his lungs, and it takes Remus another thrust or two to get the angle right again, but then he’s fucking him, really _fucking him,_ and he’s hitting that spot over and over, and Sirius is sure he’s dying, he can’t breathe, the pleasure is so intense, and the pain is so intense, and everything has coalesced into this moment, with _Remus Lupin fucking Sirius Black_ and Sirius comes so hard he almost passes out. Remus comes with a fucking roar, collapsing on top of him, making it all the harder to breathe. 

They’re silent for a long moment before Remus pulls out, making him wince and wriggle beneath him. Remus collapses beside him. _Fuck_ , he says. _Fuck fuck fuck fuck_ , Sirius agrees, but he doesn’t say it out loud. He knows he’s got to look a right fucking mess, covered in sweat and bites and bruises, having just had a bleeding fucking cock in his arse. He realises he’s shaking. Remus runs his fingers over Sirius’ skin, and his expression is torn between the wolf so close to the surface and a young man caught up in something bigger than they both realised. After a minute, Remus murmurs that it’s time to go, and he helps Sirius to his feet, though they’re both shaky. Remus leaves first, leaving Sirius alone in the room, trying to get the rest of his clothes on, replaying it all over and over and over again in his mind. 

_\---_

The full moon is surprisingly uneventful, and Moony doesn’t run all over Padfoot like he did before. Remus is less bruised and exhausted the next morning, and Sirius sneaks into the infirmary to visit him that evening. He sets an alarm with his wand to let him know if Pomfrey comes close, and he falls asleep with his feet propped on the foot of Remus’ bed. 

Remus is released the next day, and they don’t see too much of each other. Remus has Ancient Runes, and Sirius has Care of Magical Creatures, and in Transfiguration they’re purposely separated by McGonagall. Remus isn’t at dinner long, and Sirius comes late, feeling a slight wave of arousal when he even thinks the word ‘come’. Evans and her entourage let James and Peter sit with them that evening in the common room, and while Sirius puts off going upstairs for awhile, he finally finds himself in the dormitory. 

Remus is reading in bed and only looks up for a moment when Sirius comes in. Sirius can’t think of anything witty to say, or a way to gain the upper hand, or pretend like he has any semblance of control at the moment. Instead, he slips off his shoes and joins Remus, stretching out beside him. They’ve done this more times than he can count, and he’s relieved to feel the familiar comfort and warmth. Remus runs his fingers through his hair and traces along his ear, and Sirius relaxes into the touch. _Good?_ Remus asks, and it sounds nonchalant but Sirius is pleased to hear the slightest bit of hope and trepidation lurking. _Good_ , he agrees, and he feels himself relax completely, feels Remus settle back into the bed, his hand pressed against Remus’ hip as he reads. 


End file.
